Late at night I stay up thinking how my life would've been if I've never met the one who saved me from this world my God. All these questions come up to my mind: would I still be alive or how would my life be probably misserable. Would I've have killed myself like I use to plan it or would I've had died slowly of the pain and sadness that I had inside me? filled of hatred towards this world and I didn't know why? Blaming others for my mistakes! Stuck in my own little world where there was no light but just darkness finding a way to end with my life cause I hated myself. Tried to be someone who wasn't me wanted to be out in the world wanted to be known, tried to be good but it didn't seem to work. So I gave a chance to the bad and started being someone who wasn't me and when I least expected it wasn't me who had control of my life anymore but everything else that I pretended to be. So I gave up and went back to my own little world. And as time passed nothing changed except the emptiness inside me kept growing. I wanted to atleast fake a smile but who was I fooling no one else but just me! About to commit suicide I tried to think about my family and everyone else that was close to me. How would they feel if I was gone forever. But the thought of suicide kept growing and just when I was about to kill myself. I remembered that someone once told me that there is a God who can help me and fill this emptiness inside me?! But then I thought to myself wait if there is a God like they say there is then why is my life miserable? It wasn't until I opened my heart to God and decided to give him a chance and that's were I found that happiness and love that no one could give me! And now I live to serve him! Now I can say there really is a God who can change your life around! If he did it for me why not for you!! All you have to do is open your heart to him let him in and you will see the difference!
ENJOY! LOVE, MARLENE:)
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